Wow. It’s been an eventful few days and I’m not sure where to start. Those of you who come to this blog for others reasons are going to have to bear with me this week as I’m back on Tori Amos tour. First of all, I am SO glad I am only going to a few shows this tour. It has made the experience infinity times better, and it’s the way I’ll be doing things from now on.

It’s hard to write about Phoenix, because I’ve seen San Diego since then, but that isn’t far. Phoenix was very good in its own right, which I’m especially surprised to report given that it was opened by Clyde, the doll I don’t like. But Clyde ditched “Roosterspur Bridge” and “Rattlesnakes,” and since those are the only two Clyde songs I’m not into, it was great for me. I brought my friend Casey, and had a fantastic time, and he is going to write up his review shortly.

OK. I don’t think I can emphasize enough how incredible last night’s show was. Many of you have been reading this website for four years, so all you have to do is look at this setlist to know what I’m about to say:

* Body And Soul

* She’s Your Cocaine

* Hoochie Woman

* Raspberry Swirl

* Yo George

* Mountain

* Tombigbee

* Scarlet’s Walk

* Big Wheel

* Cornflake Girl

* Doughnut Song

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* Twinkle

* Leather

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* Your Cloud

* Virginia

* Code Red

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* Precious Things

* Bliss

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* Space Dog

* Hey Jupiter

I haven’t been around, but I’m not sure how this isn’t the best show of the tour. If you’d told me four years ago that I’d attend a show where she played “She’s Your Cocaine,” “Raspberry Swirl,” “Mountain,” and “Tombigbee,” “Doughnut Song,” “Virginia,” and “Space Dog” in the same set, I definitely would have laughed in your face. Are you kidding me? Is there even a reason for me to go to any more shows ever? Last night when I drove home I thought to myself that I should just quit while I’m ahead. I feel like a Boston Red Sox fan in 2004. Or like my dog after I take him on a long walk and then feed him bacon (like I did this morning).

Alright. Let’s see what I can remember. First off, I was up in the front so that made it even better. Me and my friends were seated next to the girls who got kicked out during Code Red, but more on that later. When she came out in that Santa wig I knew I was about to hear “She’s Your Cocaine” and “Raspberry Swirl,” so I was super excited, but also a little bummed that it wasn’t Isabel. I know the Isabel wig got burnt and messed up in Oakland, so I was really afraid it was dead for the rest of the tour and I’d never hear Mountain. Anyway, Body & Soul was hot, much, much better than when I heard it in Europe (but that makes sense). Dan Phelps has really found his footing with the rest of the players, and I just love his work. I only wish he had a little more wiggle room, but that’s neither here nor there. “She’s Your Cocaine” was outstanding. It only took me 93 shows to hear it, and I never thought I would. Some folks who would know later said it was the best Cocaine of tour, and I believe them. She tossed that wig around like a rat was on her head. “Hoochie Woman” was, um, interesting. I didn’t realize her pitcher actually had alcohol in it until she flicked some of it at us to be sassy and it got in my eye. Hurt like a bitch, but I guess that’s the price one pays during the Santa set these days. “Raspberry Swirl” was obviously something I got off my ass for. And then I turned around and everyone was sitting so I started yelling at people to get up and dance— because it looked like they wanted to but were scared—and they did. Having not heard that song since 98, I couldn’t believe it was happening, either. Santa would have been enough for me, but when she left after four songs and the band kept playing, I knew she’d be coming back with another doll. She alluded to this at the Meet and Greet, but vaguely said something would happen in the beginning of the set that would take the shows to another level. Sometimes she says stuff like this and then debuts Bells for Her, but she really meant it this time.

I thought I recognized the jam the band was playing as being in the same key as Yo George, so I started freaking out a little thinking she could actually go from RS into Mountain. And then I saw the white wig on her from behind the curtain and pretty much lost it. Yo George is a great song, but really hard to sit through when you’re waiting to see if Mountain is going to happen. When she started Mountain, I slapped the floor in front of me and fist-pumped like a prize fighter. I’m so sorry my friends Jill and Nikki never got to hear this one. And I’m sorry this one never made a record. It’s so wonderful. Tombigbee was next, and I couldn’t believe that either. It was almost like she picked the best songs from the two best dolls and just threw them in there together to show off. I’m writing this review and I’m realizing I’m not really even saying anything except fkjsdlfksdf;sdkl;k and !!!!!!!. That’s how good this show was. And you all know me and I’m never like this. The last time I had this much fun at a show was the last San Diego show (surprise surprise) and I had some herbal help.

“Scarlet’s Walk” was a little strange. The lamp kind of threw me off, but whatever. I get it. Doughnut Song was incredible. She was holding it together a bit, I mean, there seemed to be points where the transitions between verse and chorus was a little loose, but that song is so phenomenal she can croak it out and I’d still be like, more please. Secret Time was just ok. I knew Leather wasn’t on the set, because she never plays it second, so I was worried something phenomenal was on there that got kiboshed. (And Take Me With You was, it turned out). Your Cloud isn’t something I ever want to hear again, but the beauty of going to a handful of shows is it’s hard to get sick of songs, and I doubt I’ll hear it again. Virginia was obviously a highlight for me, though I actually think it loses something with the band. I think it allows her to go to her sad place, instead of the angry place she plays it from solo.

Next up was Code Red. Now, there were two girls who were front row center. They’d been getting up to get drinks every few songs, texting people, putting their cameras on the stage and taking pictures of Tori, as well as snapping pics of each other and just generally talking really loudly. I spoke to one of them during the Professional Widow interlude, and she mentioned her friend was a fan and she was along for the ride. The girls seemed nice but also probably should not have been front row center if they were going to eff off like that. I was worried something bad was going to happen after one of them tried to yell over to me during Virginia. Maybe she was trying to ask what song it was or something, I’m not sure. Tori noticed this girl was being loud and she looked like she was about to say something, but bit her tongue. The girls kept talking, and one went up to get a drink. Then she came back before the start of Code Red, and I could tell Tori was distracted and pissed. They kept on snapping pictures of each other and yapping loudly, so finally Tori stopped Code Red and told one of the girls to get the fuck out of her show. Then she got up and basically charged the front row and pointed to her. It was surreal and frightening. Then she went back to the mic and said something along the lines of, “Sitting in the front row is a privilege. Those are my seats and I give them to people who like music.” Smitty ran down and lead one of the girls out. Then Tori looked at the other girl and said (not into the mic but just right to her face): Are you with her? You can get the fuck out,too.” It was definitely the angriest I have ever seen her at a show. Ever. She started Code Red over again and snarled her way through it. Then she came back and growled through Precious Things, Space Dog, and Bliss. As my Nana would say, she was madder than a wet hen!

Here is someone’s video of the incident in question. I’m sitting directly to the right of the girls who got booted. But I didn’t jump up when everyone else did when she re-started the song because I was completely traumatized. Haha: [video at the end of the entry.]

I hope it makes the boot, though I doubt it will. I think she started it over so she could replace it completely. I love Code Red so much. When I was in Florence I got a chance to speak with her about that line, “Do this last one and I’ll grow me some wine,” in reference to this being her last album for a while. It’s definitely a poignant note in a rocking song, but I get it.

I’m about to leave for Santa Barbara so I don’t get stuck in any traffic. I’ve got a gnarly request in the works, and if it gets played (which I doubt it will since it hasn’t been done in ten years) you’ll know what it is. I hope it gets played, because I think a lot of people would really love to hear it. In fact, if you’re going to a meet and greet I encourage you to ask for Ode to the Banana King. There’s strength in numbers, people.

Ah! Geeking out for a week is so much fun. If these shows weren’t so good I’d probably not be going to any more. But, man. If you’re in LA and on the fence about any of the next shows, please go. I’m jaded and I’m telling you to go. Go go go go go.